Men’s Wearhouse Suit Comes With New Interpol Album Pre-Loaded
HOUSTON — Just days after announcing it would ramp up efforts to not go bankrupt again, Men’s Wearhouse unveiled its sole Fall 2026 piece, a single-breasted, slim-fit, dinner-with-appetizers suit that comes pre-loaded with Interpol’s new album, “This…
Donald Trump To Rename New Mexico ‘State America’
WASHINGTON — In the latest move of his tireless patriotic renaming crusade, President Donald Trump announced this morning that the State of New Mexico will henceforth be known as “State America.” “State America. It’s big! It’s a big, strong name.…
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Larry Ellison
Larry Ellison is the co-founder and executive chairman of Oracle, as well as the largest shareholder of the Paramount Skydance Corporation. The Onion sat down with the billionaire to discuss his ventures. The Onion : How did you get into the…
Stella Lefty Admits Nepotism May Have Helped Her Get Groupon+
LOS ANGELES—Responding to scrutiny concerning her tech billionaire father, artist Stella Lefty admitted in an interview Friday that nepotism may have played a role in helping her get Groupon+. “I had to set up the account myself, but yeah, I definitely…
HHS Replaces Childhood Vaccination Schedule With List Of Recommended Animal Bites
WASHINGTON—Revising the former timetable to reflect its latest public guidelines, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services replaced the childhood vaccination schedule Friday with a list of recommended animal bites. “It’s highly important that…
Sophie Cunningham Claims Any Woman Who Averages More Than 8 Points Per Game Should Not Be Allowed To Play In WNBA
INDIANAPOLIS—Contending that the proposed restrictions were “common sense” and necessary to preserve the integrity of the sport, Indiana Fever shooting guard Sophie Cunningham claimed Friday that any woman who averages more than eight points per game…
Top Songs August 2025
1 Inoffensive Bridal Party Entrance Theme Music Bruno Mars 2 We Are One (Official Song Of The 2026 World Cornhole Championships) Shakira 3 Worry About Your Own Weight, Fat-Ass Ariana Grande 4 Go To Visitdubai.com To Learn More Maroon 5 5 HR Disciplinary…
SNAP Enrollment Drops By Over 13%
Stricter work requirements enacted in the Big Beautiful Bill have caused enrollment in the SNAP food assistance program to plummet over 13% over the past year as provisions kick in. What do you think? “If they want food so bad, they can start a crypto…
Trump Posts Disturbing Video Of Himself Twirling With Knives
WASHINGTON—Prompting widespread concern among fans and followers, President Donald Trump uploaded a disturbing video of himself Friday rapidly twirling while holding knives. According to sources, the clip showed the commander-in-chief spinning around in…
TBR’s Week in Photos
Algae-ridden Reflecting Pool Renamed “Lake Trump” Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images Leader of Free World Renamed “Mark Carney” Andrej Ivanov/Getty Images Flock of Canadian Geese Take Massive Shit on White House Gary Bendig on Unsplash…