TBR Election Day Cartoon Special!
As you await the results, uncork the Cabernet, pop those edibles, and enjoy these Election Day cartoons from TBR’s roster of superstar cartoonists! Read more
Tips For Moving Abroad
Figuring out how to leave the United States and set up your life in another country can be complicated, confusing, and time-consuming. The Onion shares tips for moving abroad. Start by moving to an adjacent country and gradually work your way across the…
Nation Lines Up In Droves To Humiliate Nate Silver
WASHINGTON—In a united effort to fulfill their patriotic duty as Americans, the nation’s voters reportedly lined up in droves Tuesday to humiliate Nate Silver. “Little fuck thinks he’s so smart—I’ll show him,” said D.C. resident Jon Everett, one of 174…
Neglectful Voter Forced To Fill Out 6 Years’ Worth Of Back Ballots
DENVER—Expressing frustration as poll workers handed him a large stack of election materials, local man Andrew Campbell was reportedly forced to fill out six years’ worth of back ballots Tuesday before he could vote in the 2026 midterms. “I guess I have…
Chuck Schumer Warns That Winning Goes Against the Aims of the Democratic Party
WASHINGTON — Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer warned that recent victories for Democratic candidates go against the aims of the Democratic Party, confirmed sources. “If we wanted to win, we would,” wrote Schumer in a strongly written letter to his…
Trump Renames Gulf of America to Gulf of Mexico for Crucial Hispanic Support
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump declared that the United States of America will revert the Gulf of America’s name back to Gulf of Mexico for crucial pre-midterm Hispanic support, unconvinced sources confirm. “Sleepy Joe changed the name of this…
Democrats Urge Haley Stevens to Endorse Republicans in Every Other State
Dominic Gwinn/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping for a last-minute boost to their midterm campaigns, on Monday Democrats across the US beseeched Rep. Haley Stevens to endorse their Republican opponents.…
Haley Stevens Threatens To Endorse One Republican Every Hour Until Demands Met
DETROIT—Saying time was rapidly running out for candidates in her party to do the right thing, Rep. Haley Stevens (D-MI) threatened Monday to endorse a Republican every hour until her demands were met. “It’s almost 1 p.m., which means my…
Sports Betting By The Numbers
With the recent explosion of sportsbooks and prediction markets, interest in gambling on sports has never been higher. The Onion looks at the figures behind the boom in sports betting. $140,000 Parlay winnings if the basketball catches fire, then it…
Goateed Off
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