Male Bonding Win? No Women Showed Up for This Orgy, But We’re Having a Great Time Watching Old NFL Highlights Instead
In a time when men across the country are suffering from loneliness and isolation, the atmosphere that developed at tonight’s failed orgy can only be seen as an unexpected blessing. A group of men were brought together by a shared desire to engage in…
Pedal Board Most Organized Part of Guitarist’s Life
TERRE HAUTE, Ind. – Vance Stevenson, guitarist for local rock band Gorilla Cheese, spends countless hours organizing the various effects pedals in order to get them just perfect, a level of care that has failed to spread to any other area of his life,…
Baby Songs Updated for the Trump Administration
Jonathan Borba on Unsplash When the President of the United States is a baby, that requires new baby songs. Consider these updated lullabies: Read more
Lana Del Rey, Husband Celebrate Anniversary At Gas Station Subway
DES ALLEMANDS, LA—Holding hands and giggling as they talked the part-time fast food worker through their sandwich order, singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey and swamp tour boat captain Jeremy Dufrene reportedly celebrated their wedding anniversary Saturday at…
We Revisit Trace Adkins’ “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” Because It Just Officially Replaced the National Anthem
Alright, by no means are we die-hard patriots, and we never really considered the “Star Spangled Banner” to be that great of a song to begin with. We certainly would have been open to changing it, but something about the recent bill passed by both the…
Police Insist They Wouldn’t Need Flock Cameras If Women Would Just Stay Where They’re Supposed To
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local police defended the continued use of Flock Safety license plate readers Monday, arguing the controversial surveillance network would be completely unnecessary if women would simply remain in the small number of locations where…
TBR’s Week in Photos
Senile Man Wanders Into UN and Gives 40 Minute Speech Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images Nation Saddened That Reversal of Press Ban Means They Will Once Again Hear Trump’s Voice Celal Gunes/Anadolu via Getty Images Putin Upset to Learn Trump Is…
Kash Patel Phished By Scammer Posing As Kash Patel
WASHINGTON—Despite carefully checking and double-checking the credentials of the man who reached out to him via email, FBI director Kash Patel was reportedly phished Friday by a scammer posing as FBI director Kash Patel. “First of all, he’s…
We Separated the Art From the Artist and Steven Tyler Still Sucks
Can you separate the art from the artist? When a creator whose work you love reveals a trait of character you cannot abide, is it ethical to continue consuming and admiring their work? It’s an age-old debate, and one that we here at the hard times are in…
FBI Hack Exposes Thousands Of Employee Records
A cybercriminal collective known as ShinyHunters claims to have breached the FBI’s online job portal and stolen more than 2 terabytes of employee personnel records. What do you think? “What kind of demented people want to know more about Kash Patel?”…