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Useless Facts - Humoro.us
Humoro.us - Submit your anonymous jokes here. We don't mind if they're really really bad.

Random Stupid Jokes

Listed below are five random bad jokes. Refresh the page to see more random bad jokes ;-)
  • What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?

    A witch in soggy trainers.
  • In the construction
    field, it is often
    noted that lawyers make the worst clients. However,
    a couple of years
    ago I met an old carpenter that said lawyers were
    always his
    favorite clients!

    When I asked him why he got so much pleasure out of
    having lawyers as
    clients he replied, "I only build coffins
    now."
  • This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted, "hurrah."It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
  • "What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln,
    and Christopher Columbus all
    have in common? They were all born on
    holidays."
  • Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river (look, my suit's still damp), ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.""You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."