A PHP Error was encountered

Severity: Notice

Message: Only variable references should be returned by reference

Filename: core/Common.php

Line Number: 257

Useless Facts - Humoro.us
Humoro.us - Submit your anonymous jokes here. We don't mind if they're really really bad.

Random Stupid Jokes

Listed below are five random bad jokes. Refresh the page to see more random bad jokes ;-)
  • Do pigs like Backgammon?
    No, they prefer their
    backs scratched.
  • While cruising at 40,000
    feet, the
    airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window.
    "Good lord!" he
    screamed, "one of the engines just blew up!"

    Other passengers
    left their seats and came running over; suddenly the
    aircraft was
    rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on
    the other
    side.

    The passengers were in a panic now, and even the
    stewardesses couldn't
    maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling
    confidently, the
    pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone
    that there was
    nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor
    seemed made most of the
    passengers feel better, and they sat down as
    the pilot calmly walked to
    the door of the aircraft. There, he
    grabbed several packages from under
    the seatsand began handing them to
    the flight attendants. Each crew
    member attatched the package to
    their backs.

    "Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't tho
    se parachutes?"

    The pilot said they were.

    The passenger
    went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to
    worry
    about?"

    "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded.

    "We're going to get help."
  • A shy guy goes into a bar and
    sees a
    beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up
    his
    courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would

    you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

    To which she
    responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I
    won't sleep with you
    tonight!"

    Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally,
    the guy is
    hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back
    to his table. After
    a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and
    apologizes. She smiles
    at him and says, "I'm sorry if I
    embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
    journalist and I've got an assignment to
    study how people respond to
    embarrassing situations."

    To which
    he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean
    $200?"
  • Why is Russia a very fast country ?
    Because
    the people are always Russian !
  • What's the favourite flavour of
    sharks?
    Shark-o-late!