Random Stupid Jokes:

• |A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.When he went back to his beer, the voice said again "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on.The bartender said "Oh, it's the nuts--they're complimentary."
• Did you hear about the cross eyed
  
  teacher?
  He couldn't control his pupils!
• What should you buy if your
  hair
  falls out ?
  A good vacuum cleaner !
• A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tellshis wife about the purchase he's just made."Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?""There are three colors," he explains, "gold, silver and bronze.""So what color are you gonna wear tonight?" she asks with a grin."Gold of course," says the proud man.The wife responds, "Why don't you wear silver -- it would be niceif you came second for a change!"
• |Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.They were still arguing when the train hit them.